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Better Excuses for Speeding Than Needing to Use the Bathroom

Police officers stopping motorists hear it all—every excuse in the book. Some of them are so absurd that you want to laugh. But it is mandatory to keep a straight face. Law enforcement cares about conduct on the road and some types of behavior are out of line.

While road rage is the worst culprit for accidents, speeding is equally destructive. We are all about communicating the need to improve driving and learn how to do it according to the rules. Then these poor officers won’t have to hear things like, “I had to go to the john” or “Mother Nature was calling” or “My bladder is about to burst.”

Any mention of having to go or toilets always gets a laugh. We all relate to the universal experience. As kids, our parents had to disguise the process with silly words like “potty” or “number two.” The old-time jokes still engender a roar. A whole lot of people keep a book of bathroom humor lying around in the favorite room of the house. Here are some excerpts:

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hills? It wanted to reach the bottom.

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.

Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.

(Are you laughing yet? If these won’t due, there are thousands more.)

What is a bathroom superhero called? Flush Gordon.

What would you find in Superman’s bathroom? A superbowl.

And for the kids:

What do you call a fairy using the toilet? Stinker bell.

What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.

I can go on. The internet is loaded with similar stuff, but you get the point. The world is preoccupied with doing one’s business and pee pee caca jokes. No one is immune to a bowl full of laughs. Make some up, write a book and earn a bundle. Maybe talk about the most primitive toilet you ever saw (mine was in Russia in the floor) or worst outside venue.

If you run out of steam, here are some books to consult for inspiration:

The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever by Michael Ryan

Toilet Tales: Hilarious, Embarrassing, True Stories of Bathroom Humor by Ryan Jacobson and Chantel Wiskur

Porcelain Travels: Humor, Horror and Revelation in, on and around Toilets, Tubs and Showers by Matthew Felix

The Toilet Papers: a collection of humor, horror & historical shorts (Places to Go, While you Go) by Jaimie Engle

Some Simple Driving Skills That We Should Know

Driving

Driving is an art that requires concentration and etiquette skills to avoid accidents and arrive safely at the destination. You need an experienced coach with a good knowledge of the DMV behind the wheel test process to make an effective driver. The Internet opens a huge portal where you can sign up for online drivers and learn the rules and regulations of driving at home for safety.

 

Here are some skills that we all know but that we tend to forget during driving:

 

1. It stops when necessary

 

A lot of people do this: stop in part or simulate stopping when the car stops at the stop or in California. These stops make you stop, what people neglect, but, of course, it is important to pass the test.

 

 

2. Speed

 

Speed is one of the essential factors that we all know: it requires the driver to drive within the prescribed limits, but always stops staying within the specified limits and breaks the rules. For example, if the maximum is 50 km, you can try to drive at 55 km / h, which is completely against the base and this will prevent you from issuing a driver’s license and pass the test. Be sure to look at your speedometer only if you have exceeded the maximum speed limit to be controlled. During testing, it is always recommended not to continue moving with traffic instead of following the specified speed limit.

 

3. Perform uniform shoulder controls.

 

If you try to turn right, change or merge with the corridor and even drag/pull traffic, perform a shoulder test (two shoulders are recommended for the correct turns). People often think that shoulder scans are not necessary if there are no vehicles or infantry while walking in the right direction. It is strongly recommended that you check if there are motorcyclists, pedestrians, vehicles or routes in your blind spot, which could cause accidents if not checked in time. The examiner must show that you are interested in road users in the blind spot, so even if you are sure there is nothing, look at the shoulder.

 

4. Parking brake

 

Take advantage of the parking brake every time you are asked to stop. Another point to keep in mind is not to keep these brakes while driving, as they can generate a bad impression on your driving skills. A lot of people do not use these brakes.

 

 


 

 

5. Driving under the influence

 

Never pay under the influence of anything. This can include substances, such as drugs or alcohol, or it can simply be a state of fatigue. All these things tend to die or change the perception of the senses used in driving. Driving in a changing consciousness represents a danger to you and other motorcyclists and objects on the road. Unfortunately, such things have caused accidents that cause a lot of damage and can cause death. These are some simple tips for leadership that our coaches usually give us, but we tend to forget when we do the actual test. Be safe and cautious while driving and avoid panic during the test. Some people tend to feel tense and end up slowing or accelerating and ending up failing the test.

 

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